The Cliche Smash Story
by LilacFoxGirl1
Summary: The Smashers are caught in an odd battle between themselves and the Subspace baddies! This leads to quite a few quirky instances. Samus is violent, Ness is a rulebreaker, Mewtwo, Roy, Young Link, and Dr. Mario are trapped, and Tabuu is a slug! ...Wait, what? (Rated T just in case)


_**Author's Notes: **_**Hi everybody, Lilac here! This was actually an experiment. You see, I was on TV Tropes and found a list of cliché phrases. Thus, this experiment story was born out of several cliché phrases! Can you find them all? (semi-hint: the phrases are going to be what characters say, not the narrator). Otherwise, I can't tell much else unless I want to spoil this for you!**

**WARNING: Don't everything in this story too seriously….seriously. xD**

**So, without further ado, The Cliché Story! :D**

_The Cliché Story_

"Don't just stand there, do something!"

Samus shouted to Donkey Kong as the practically all-out war in the alleyway-like area continued.

Now hold up a minute.

_What _was going on? Well, like previously said, there was a near all-out war between a majority of Smashers present and Subspace baddies in an alleyway-like area.

_What_ was this semi-war over, you may ask? Well, it just so happened that the Subspace baddies had taken Mewtwo, Roy, Young Link, and Dr. Mario captive, so it was obviously _they_ who started it!

…the fight _totally_ wasn't started because_ Fox_ _ate the last cookie_ and _the Subspace baddies found out_ and _wanted revenge_ or anything like that—Haha, _no way_…hah…ha….

Anyway, Donkey Kong obeyed Samus and somehow did a 360 degree turn without moving a muscle.

Samus ignored this, however, and whipped around to face Luigi, who was about to press a large red button on the wall. "Don't do something, just stand there!" she roared causing Luigi to shrink back.

Growling, Samus turned back to the group of Primids she was fighting before launching a missile into the closest Primid's face.

Meanwhile, in the same area of the practical war, Meta Knight was having a complete-opposite-of-a-friendly-sword-dual with a recently revived Galacta Knight.

Their blades clashed.

Suddenly coming up with something witty, Galacta Knight spoke. "As a Smasher, you—" But he was cut-off by none other than Dark Link.

"-make an excellent sausage!" Dark Link called as he jumped onto Ridley.

Galacta Knight didn't object nor agree due to Dark Link causing him to forget what he was going to say.

"As a Smasher, you make an excellent sausage!" Dark Link shouted above the noise once more, before grabbing the reins Ridley was wearing.

Meta Knight and Galacta Knight exchanged glances, appearing to have absolutely no idea what that meant. They shrugged and continued fighting.

A distance away, Captain Falcon _Falcon-Punch!_ed a Primid before frowning. "Anyone get the license number of that dragon?" he inquired, watching Ridley begin to lift off the ground with Dark Link. Captain Falcon glanced at Link before doing a double-take. "…What are you doing?"

Link was currently aiming his arrow, which was decorated with his Clawshot. Link closed one eye and pulled the arrow farther back. "Nobody said it would be easy," Link informed. He simply let go and immediately the arrow shot forward a long distance. It began to descend underneath Ridley but the Clawshot activated, shooting up and grabbing hold of the license number plate on Ridley's tail.

Captain Falcon stared, mouth agape, as Link reeled in his rope, which was tied to the arrow, which was connected to the Clawshot, which now held Ridley's license number plate.

Link held up the plate before grinning. "Dang, I'm good."

"-Good- this!" Samus then spat before shooting a fully charged Charge Shot into Link's face.

_BOOM!_

Captain Falcon watched as the now-charred Link fell to the floor.

Samus, however, appeared stunned. "I can't believe it worked!" she exclaimed, holding up her blaster.

Noticing this incident, Mario kicked two Beam Primids back before shaking his head and walking up to Samus. Mario looked up at her. "Has anybody ever told you…he was on our side?" he inquired with a raised eyebrow.

Samus scoffed as if it didn't matter. "How bad could it be?"

Her question was answered.

Link suddenly ran through, screaming with his hands in the air. Apparently being set ablaze is a side-effect of Samus's Charge Shot.

"Water! Water!" Link screamed desperately, running around in an aimless manner as Mario and Samus watched.

"Well, that's new," Captain Falcon spoke, joining Mario and Samus in standing around rather than actually helping the battling Smashers around them.

Toon Link slashed away at several Primids before throwing a bomb at a nearby group of them. He put on a look of determination but was easily distracted as his older counterpart, Link, sprinted while appearing to be set ablaze. Curious and puzzled, Toon Link paused and watched as Link dashed to the cliff of the alleyway area (as it was conveniently placed on a small cliff) before leaping off the edge with a desperate cry.

_CRASH!_

Toon Link gasped.

"…!"

His determined expression reappeared. Toon Link then thrust his sword into the air. "If he can do it, so can I!" he declared before taking off after Link and, yes, jumped off the cliff to join him.

Captain Falcon, Mario, and Samus were all eyewitnesses to this. To think, two of those magnificent heroes _were lost_ all because of one Smasher's ignorance! And everyone knew who that Smasher was…

All eyes looked at none other than Sonic the Hedgehog, who was currently kicking a Primid around. After a few moments, Sonic realized for some reason all the Smashers were staring at him. He paused and stared back. Knowing what they were thinking (as this was rather normal), Sonic blinked.

"…I blame Toon Link."

However, due to the Smasher's being distracted one of the Primids took the time to call in more troops! Oh darn!

More and more Subspace baddies started flowing into the place from who knows where! Perhaps it was from those dark vortex-like things called Subspace Generators, but eh. That's just a theory.

Fox was the first to notice more trouble brewing.

Fox's eyes widened and he turned on his heel. "Let's get outta' here!" he yelled to the other oblivious Smashers.

Everybody who was a Smasher nodded in unison before running towards the exit: one old creaky, small, metallic door on the opposing wall.

Kirby, the first to actually reach the door, stood on his would-be toes and reached for the doorknob. But a mysterious invisible force around the knob rejected his stubby hand! What?!

Kirby gasped, pulling back his hand before turning to the others who seemed to be staring at something. Kirby looked up before realizing it was actually someone. His jaw dropped as did several other Smashers'.

"Just where do you think _you're_ going?" inquired the malicious-toned voice of none other than…Tabuu!

…What.

In response to Tabuu's question, Ike listed the various places they planned to go to. "Baskin Robins, Columbia, Mushroom Kingdom, Baskin Robins, Wii Sports Resort, Baskin Robins…and Baskin Robins," Ike finished, counting off with his fingers.

Tabuu's would-be eyebrows were scrunched as he looked confused. "You said Baskin Robins multiple times," he pointed out.

"I like Baskin Robins."

Everybody but Samus gave a bewildered, freaked out look.

With a furious expression Samus whipped out a Dark Cannon and aimed it at Ike. "We can't take that chance!" she hollered, sounding awfully crossed. Mario, however, put a calm hand on Samus's shoulder. Samus stopped and looked up.

"…We need to talk," Mario sighed, ushering Samus to the sidelines, most likely to discuss her anger problems.

After a few moments, the other Smashers and Tabuu shrugged before returning to the more important situation at hand.

"We're all going to die!" Luigi panicked fearfully.

"Can I do anything?" Lucas questioned in a timid tone.

"You've done enough!" snapped a nearby Falco, remembering how Lucas accidentally used their last Smash Ball to destroy half the Subspace Army—and injure a majority of the Smashers present.

"Behold," Tabuu randomly interjected and began to glow, "my true form!"

He then exploded into a bright white light of brightness like he did when they first defeated him. However, once the light faded, in Tabuu's place was a giant, icky, gooey, yellow, and very large, slug holding a spoon with the power of stickiness and slime.

"He's got a weapon!" Yoshi realized with a rush of fright, pointing to the spoon.

Falco rolled his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know," he responded sarcastically.

Tabuu laughed evilly and gazed down at the "helpless" Smashers. "How would you like to die?" he questioned with an evil gleam in his would-be and might-be eyes.

Ganondorf, in particular, was staring into space. "Never again," he murmured his answer.

Now everybody was even more confused than before.

Then Captain Falcon tapped Ganondorf on the shoulder. Ganondorf snapped out of his trance and turned to Captain Falcon.

"Uh, don't look now," Captain Falcon began, "but…" He gestured behind him, revealing a somewhat stupid sight of Wario with a catapult and Giant Bomb-omb. Unfortunately, it seemed obvious that Ganondorf, along with other Smashers, would have to die again.

"Eat Giant Bomb-omb!" Wario chortled before setting off his Giant Bomb-omb catapult. The catapult launched the Giant Bomb-omb straight at Tabuu—and also at the other Smashers.

"You insolent fool!" Tabuu cackled before realizing that the Bomb-omb was also heading straight for him.

But at the random spur of the moment, the door right behind the Tabuu in slug form unexpectedly opened, revealing R.O.B. along with Mr. Game-and-Watch and Olimar!

R.O.B. scanned the room before confirming his previous guess.

"No intelligent life here," R.O.B. stated and turned to Mr. Game-and-Watch and Olimar. "But why am I telling you all this? And you, a total stranger." R.O.B. gestured to Olimar, who shrugged.

"There's something you don't see every day," Fox remarked, watching as R.O.B., Olimar, and Mr. Game-and-Watch disappeared as they closed the door.

"We got what we came here for!" Galacta Knight, for some reason forgotten, called up to Tabuu. "Now let's go!"

Tabuu nodded before disappearing as the other Subspace baddies (mostly Primids, yes) ran off at miraculous speeds.

It was then Link and Toon Link popped up, clinging to the edge, and Link yelled, "After them!" while pointing at the escaping Subspace baddies. He then leaped to his feet and ran after the Subspace baddies.

Finishing up his talk with Samus, Mario replied, "Don't worry, I'll be right behind you!"

However, this statement was proven untrue; the minute Mario put his foot down he tumbled onto the floor and fell face-first behind Luigi.

Mario wasn't the only one with lack of luck.

While Link ran across the wooden bridge over the junk and debris that lay at the bottom of the alleyway area's cliff, most others did not.

Pikachu used his Quick Attack into the air before being rendered useless mid-air and fell into the junk.

Donkey Kong purposely leaped into the junk and got his foot stuck.

Toon Link ran onto the bridge but tripped and stubbed his toe on Charizard, who refused to move for Red, the Pokemon Trainer.

Blinded by pain, Toon Link accidentally rolled off the bridge (which had no rails).

Charizard, still being defiant, decided it'd be the perfect time to fly away and abandon Red. Speaking of Red, because of him blocking the way, most Smashers chose not the use the bridge.

Sonic thought he was fast enough to run on air but fell into the junk.

Snake used his Cypher, but it wasn't very good at flying horizontally so he also fell into the junk.

Lucas was too afraid of falling, so he stayed behind and didn't fall into the junk. But he didn't make any progress, either.

Luigi was about to make a giant leap to the other side, but Pit decided to launch off of Luigi's head which caused Luigi to plummet into the junk with a CRASH!

Pit then activated his wings, but Wario, deciding to be a jerk, threw a Bomb-omb at Pit's wings which exploded. Pit cried out and fell into the junk. Wario guffawed at this before being shoved into the junk by King Dedede.

Meanwhile, Link had already covered half the ground the Subspace baddies did before skidding to a halt. He turned just to see almost all the Smashers had either fallen into junk or stayed behind. Or they were Red and Pokémon, yelling for Charizard to come back.

Seeing this, Link groaned and facepalmed. "It's hard to get good help these days," he sighed, shaking his head.

Down in the junk at the bottom of the very short cliff (which isn't very far- 2-3 feet deep), Ike was covered in junk. Well, that's what he got for crashing down with his Aether attack. Sprawled across the junk, Ike groaned. "I was _this_ close," he proclaimed, making a small sign with his fingers.

A little ways from Ike, Luigi not only had Kirby stuck on his head but had fallen at an odd angle as well. "A little help here?" Luigi requested, slipping around in the junk blindly, "Anyone?!"

Peach, one of those who had stayed behind, stared down at Luigi. "My, my, what have we here?" she questioned out of curiosity. Obviously she wasn't paying attention.

Though not in the junk, Ganondorf was hanging upside down to the bottom of the bridge with his eyes shut tight. "Never again," he growled, mentally cursing Red for being in the way.

Hearing this, Samus scoffed. "Tell that to Toon Link!" She pointed to Toon Link, who was in the same position as Ganondorf, only it was tougher for Toon Link because he was much smaller.

Toon Link gave an uncertain look, clinging to the bridge while Ganondorf only grunted. "I'm going to pretend I didn't see that," Ganondorf stated, shutting his eyes once more.

Toon Link scowled.

Samus shrugged before climbing out of the junk. She stood up and faced Link.

Before she could speak, Link interrupted. "Why couldn't you save them?" he demanded, knowing very well Samus could've freed Roy, Mewtwo, Young Link, and Dr. Mario from Dark Link.

"Why don't you just shoot him?" Samus retorted carelessly, pointing to Luigi, who was currently tripping around in the junk, frantically trying to get Kirby off of his head and face.

Then Meta Knight landed beside Samus and Link. "Do unto others as you would have done unto you," Meta Knight spoke to Samus in a wise manner.

Link nodded. "You can say that again."

"Do unto others as you would have done unto you!" Yoshi laughed, despite having fallen into the junk.

_**((((((Meanwhile, within the Unknown Base of the Subspace Baddies…))))))**_

"You're insane!" the Villager exclaimed as he, Ness, Pichu, and the Ice Climbers snuck down the hall and cracked open the door to another metallic room.

Though the child Smashers knew that for some reason, only Toon Link and Lucas were allowed to go after the Subspace baddies for the day, Ness convinced some of them to help fight the Subspace baddies off anyway.

By sneaking into their base. Which was strictly against the rules.

"Rules are meant to be broken," Ness said with a careless shrug, as if reading Villager's mind.

Villager looked to Popo and Nana for help with an "I-Need-Help" expression.

Popo, like Ness, merely shrugged. "Dunno what's going on, but…"

"No time to explain," Ness interjected before grinning. "I have a plan."

"I should've stayed home today," both Nana and Villager sighed.

Ness chuckled before explaining his devious, clever, obviously foolproof plan to the others.

"Right, let's do this," Pichu squeaked eagerly after hearing the plan. She then scurried into the room.

Villager gulped, Nana covered her mouth, Popo stared blankly, and Ness was grinning wider while slowly shutting the door.

A bright, _shocking_ light flashed through the window of the door as many screams, shouts, cries, and various other ways of yelling were heard, followed by a cute voice chirping, "Hi, I'm Pichu."

Ness nodded to the others before whipping open the door. "Attack Pattern Alpha!" he yelled before charging in like a maniac, holding up a salt shaker.

However, both Popo and Nana simply walked in like regular people. Nana had a puzzled look. "What are you talking about?" she asked Ness, who continued running around with the salt shaker and shaking it in random Subspace baddies' faces.

Villager shook his head before moving to free Mewtwo, Roy, Dr. Mario, and Young Link from their nearby cages.

Tabuu, still in slug form, noticed the little rascals in the room—namely Pichu, who had shocked everyone in it to death.

"What are you doing here?!" he snapped at Pichu.

Whimpering, Pichu shrunk back. But lucky for her, Ness came to her rescue!

"Catch!" Ness bellowed, sounding angry for who-knows-what-reason, before throwing the salt shaker into Pichu's paws.

Pichu gazed at the salt shaker before looking up at Tabuu.

Tabuu would've scoffed if he hadn't realized he was still a slug. And that was salt. SALT.

As if he were a little girl, Tabuu screamed and jerked away from Pichu and the evil salt.

Ness cackled like a maniac. "This is the end!" he cackled to Tabuu. "Prepare to d—"

"Ness!"

"Huh?" Confused, Ness turned to see Popo waving at him, calling way too much attention to security cameras and Primids along with other Subspace baddies.

With an eager look, Popo then asked Ness, "What's my motivation?"

All the Smasher's present, minus Pichu and Popo, groaned while Ness also facepalmed.

While these events took place, the older and allowed-to-go Smashers had regrouped and managed to find the Subspace baddies' "secret" hideout!

In fact, those same Smashers were now sitting on the hideout building's open-roof and gazing down at the scene from above.

"From up here they look like ants!" Yoshi laughed, pointing to how small the Primids and younger Smashers below appeared. He was then pushed off the roof into that very scene.

_CRASH!_

Samus snickered shamelessly and waved down at poor Yoshi. "So long, sucker!"

She continued to laugh and make fun of Yoshi before realizing all eyes were on her now. Samus blinked twice before looking back down to check on Yoshi.

Currently, Yoshi was embedded and sprawled on the floor with many cracks appearing above him. Heck, he even looked dead. Oh, wait a second…

"…I think he's dead already," Captain Falcon finally spoke up.

Many other Smashers nodded in agreement. Some snuck dirty looks at Samus—notably, Mario.

"…I didn't mean to kill him!" Samus exclaimed, putting her hands up in defense.

Several Smashers grumbling, they all resumed to looking down at the scene playing out below.

It was then Yoshi spoke up, raising his hand. "I'm okay!" he declared and hopped to his feet as if nothing had happened.

Hearing the news, all Smashers except Samus cheered.

"Why won't you die?!" Samus screeched in utter irritation, which got fearful and quizzical looks from others.

Things weren't really as fortunate as they seemed, though, as Tabuu saw Yoshi fall.

Back down below, the children's "stealth" had been ruined by Yoshi. Or rather, the older Smasher's stealth was ruined, actually.

"My, my, what have we here?" Tabuu inquired, strolling forward to get a good look at Yoshi.

Yoshi froze and watched as Tabuu gazed up at the Smashers.

Back up above on the roof, the other Smashers knew it was safe to say they were doomed for being discovered.

Shocked, Fox turned to Falco, mouth agape. Falco, however, shrugged. "When life gives you lemons," Falco recited before leaping off the roof into the room.

Soon several other Smashers followed by jumping into the room. In fact, everybody did.

Needless to say, Tabuu was surprised as all the other Smashers plummeted from the sky and either landed on their feet, heads, bottoms, or necks without dying.

One figure in particular, Tabuu did not recognize. "Who are you?" he asked (female) Wii Fit Trainer.

Wii Fit Trainer angrily rolled up an imaginary sleeve. "Is that a threat?" she spat as her counterpart, the male Wii Fit Trainer, facepalmed.

In response, Tabuu gave her the blankest stare he could manage while being a slug.

"…Destroy them!" he ordered all his newly acquired minions, who had flowed in like last time after receiving the alert. Tabuu then faced the female Wii Fit Trainer. "I'll kill _you_!"

"We mustn't," the Ancient Minister spoke up, appearing brave to the others around him, "I'd only feel cheap."

The other minions and Subspace baddies nodded in agreement to this statement.

Quite shocked by the refusal, Tabuu stared at them, eyes wide. "…How could you?" he finally uttered, extremely stunned by the betrayal.

The Ancient Minister shrugged before whipping off his costume—revealing to be R. O. B. "I lied," he stated as Mr. Game-and-Watch and Olimar popped out from seemingly nowhere to back him up if needed.

Why, Tabuu was just so shocked!

But alas, he couldn't stay shocked any longer as Ness had been impatiently tapping his foot the whole time.

Letting out a cry of frustration, Ness finally snatched the salt shaker from Pichu before holding it up to Tabuu's face.

"Let's finish this," Ness growled darkly.

Full of fear, Tabuu scrambled to back away—but his slug-iness made him slow!

"NO! PLEASE!" Tabuu cried as Ness inched closer, unscrewing the salt shaker cap. "Anything but that!"

Ignoring Tabuu's pleas, Ness shrugged before throwing every last bit of salt onto Tabuu and his slug form.

Tabuu would've cried out "NOOOOO" like Darth Vader, but he was too dried out to do so due to being a slug. And since he was a slug, everybody expected him to shrivel up but instead…Tabuu exploded! Just like he did when he turned into a slug!

Only…he didn't come back! Wow!

In response, everybody in the room except for Tabuu cheered as loud as they could!

Smiling as he thought the chaos was over, Villager then opened the cages of Mewtwo, Dr. Mario, Young Link, and Roy (since the cages weren't even locked!).

Mario couldn't help but form a faint smile as the Smashers before him reunited and chatted happily with even the Subspace baddies, thanks to R.O.B.'s clever plan. Even Charizard had come back and joined Red, Ivysaur, and Squirtle again.

Mario sighed.

"All's well ends well."

Feeling a tap on his shoulder, Mario turned to see Marth.

Marth sighed, but in a more tired manner. "Afraid you were going to say that." He gestured behind him, revealing Rayquaza on the loose. Not only that, but Rayquaza was being ridden by Ridley who was being ridden by Dark Link who was being ridden by Dark Toon Link who was being ridden by a white Pikmin.

The mid-air group was snatching up recently dropped coins, firing projectiles at random areas, and stealing Assist Trophies just for the heck of it.

Mario groaned as he watched Dark Link yell at an old man for possibly being the culprit who stole Ridley's license number plate.

"Please tell me you're kidding…"

As the newfound chaos continued, there was one figure far off who had watched the whole scene play out.

Galacta Knight chuckled. "I almost feel sorry for him," he said, watching as Mario and Marth began to chase down Rayquaza, Dark Link, and others with more Smashers following.

Galacta Knight smirked. "…_Almost_."

_**Author's Notes: **_**So did you find all the clichés? Now I'll tell you which ones were clichés:**

…**Actually, everything the characters said minus super minor words were from that list of clichés and commonly-used phrases! xD Did I get you there?**

**Even here, I love asking questions! xD Here they are: **

**Which cliché line was your favorite?**

**Why do you think Toon Link followed Link?**

**Why do you think they all blamed Sonic?**

**Which would you rather do: steal Ridley's license number plate, end up in the junk like most Smashers, be caged like Roy and others, or face Wii Fit Trainer or Samus's wrath?**

**Finally, do you guys think I should make more chapters that are driven by cliché phrases? Yes, I'm serious. xD**

**And to those of you who've read…not only Olimar's Experience on Guard Duty, but any of my other stories, I am really, **_**really **_**sorry for not updating! I even set up a plan to get me updating at a regular schedule and instead, it delayed another update! What were the chances? O-o**

**Ah well. But don't lose hope, for I won't abandon them! Hope this was a fun short story to read! **


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